See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
be right there i have to get my cape
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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