My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
