the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
