He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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