This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
