If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
