I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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