Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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