Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
