At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
