Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
