need another drink. this is the easiest way
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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