Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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