belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
