woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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