It's like God shit irony all over that family
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
