omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
