i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
