We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think I won the penis lottery.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
