I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
