Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I wish life had little blips of pornography
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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