Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
