Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
