Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
