My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
