Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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