So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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