I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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