he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
