The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
