I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
