There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
