You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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