I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
