I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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