i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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