I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
please come you make the beer taste better
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
this will be a night to untag.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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