Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
