So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
