The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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