He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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