I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
