So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We have started to decorate penises.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
