Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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