Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
