As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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