Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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