Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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