We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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