so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
